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| Secret Tiny Details |
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Photo by
Daniel Doke
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by Allison Moir-Smith,
MA,
Emotionally Engaged
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BRIDES
HAVE SECRETS - secret tiny details that mean everything to
them and nothing to anybody else.
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One bride
I know was obsessed with blue gingham ribbon. She tied
everything with it - invitations, programs, nametags, favors,
driving directions for guests. With 300 wedding guests, she
tied bows up to and even after walking down the aisle!
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Another bride
loved placecards. During her engagement, she loved going to paper
and party stores to look at them. She'd imagine what the tables
would look like, how her friends' names would look on each card.
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Look at these
secret details metaphorically. What is the image, the metaphor,
in the detail? By exploring the image, you can figure out what
each bride might be working through, emotionally, by means of the
detail.
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Imagine the
tying of bows as a metaphor: is the bride tying things up? Maybe
the physical act of tying hundred of bows gave her a sense of
control when other things felt out of control. Or, maybe it means
that she had some relational loose ends to tie up before she got
married, but instead of doing the work emotionally, she was trying
to do it physically.
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The hunt for
placecards brought joy to that bride. It could be that her
interest in placecards helped her literalize her wedding - helped
make it more real. Or, possibly, the placecards were a way for
her to make order of imagining her loved ones coming to her
wedding.
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The detail that
a bride chooses can tell her something about what's going on,
emotionally, for her that she may not have been aware of.
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Consider:
what are your secret details? What might you be trying to work
out, emotionally, through them? What new information about your
emotional life do you glean from looking at your secret detail
metaphorically?
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Why do all of
this? Because the more you understand your emotional experience,
the more you'll be able to feel all the joy and love of this
amazing time of life.
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About the Author
Allison Moir-Smith, MA is a psychotherapist, bridal counselor and author of
Emotionally Engaged: A Bride's Guide to Surviving the "Happiest" Time of
Her Life. She's been featured on Today and Good Morning America and in
Cosmopolitan and Elle. She offers individual bridal counseling and
supportive group workshops. For more info:
www.emotionallyengaged.com |
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